reede, august 27, 2004
The Right Fit?
Okay, last night I was a bit down. Click here for a soundtrack for today's post, and here for the lyrics (the song is by an artist who always speaks to my heart, Sara Groves). Sorry it's such a short clip.
Well, moving always leads to its own stresses, and having to move twice in less than six weeks' time was definitely taking its toll. Now, I don't want to sound like I am turning a blessing into a curse; I still think moving into the house will be great for us in the long run. Okay, disclaimer over. The past few days, it has felt like the work we have done to move has accomplished little, and everything we did do seemed to take three times longer than it should have. The house had been occupied by two single guys before we came in, and some things (i.e. the refrigerator) definitely reflected that. So besides moving, we've been cleaning. It was feeling a bit overwhelming.
But yesterday I was excited because we were going to buy a new mattress for our bed. We've been sleeping on these two creaky beds that were pushed together and not very comfortable, so a real bed will be a treat. There is not the standard boxspring and mattress that we are used to in the States, but we finally figured out the bedding options and found a great set that would fit the 160X200 cm bed frame that is already in the house, plus it was 30% off. It was such a relief to make that purchase at 8:30 that night because we had been feeling like we had accomplished only a small amount that day, but being able to sleep on a new bed--that would be accomplishment! When we went around back to get the mattress, we had our first snag: it wouldn't fit into the van. But I was able to arrange for delivery right away for only 100 krooni (around $8.00). Once the mattress was in the house and the delivery truck gone, Chris and I began to take it upstairs. It was way too large and couldn't fit up the stairs! I know it's a relatively small thing (I even know of people in the States who have done the same thing) but it was like the straw that broke the camel's back. I felt like giving up. We trudged back the apartment to those creaky beds for yet another night. Then I posted that dreary blog.
I was having desperate thoughts, that I was just like that mattress--not able to fit here. If I can't do a simple thing like buy a mattress, how can I do anything worthwhile here?
But today was a new day, and like Sara Groves sings, "Morning by morning I wake up to find/ The power and comfort of God's hand in mine/ Season by season I watch him amazed, in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways." We didn't get a ton of things done today, but we did make progress. I was worried about how the store would respond to the mattress problem, because store returns are rarely done here. But when I went in, I was able to work out purchasing two 80X200 cm bottom mattresses with one 160X200 thin top mattress (although the discussions, with my limited Estonian and their limited English, looked like a UN summit as everyone huddled around trying to work it out). Ahh, success! Plus, in the morning we received a call from one of the American missionaries here in Tartu whom we had yet to meet. She offered to take Elizabeth to play with her children for the day. This was a huge help because she often complains that she is bored or fights with Chris, which tends to slow down the packing and moving. We accomplished much more today because of that.
So it is in the little things that God often shows Himself faithful, as Sara Groves sings later in the song, "I can't remember a trial or a pain he did not recycle to bring me gain/ I can't remember one single regret in serving God only and trusting his hand/ . . . This is my anthem, this is my song, the theme of the stories I've heard for so long/ God has been faithful, he will be again. His loving compassion, it knows no end." I don't need big miracles, because every day that we've been here we've seen so many small mercies in which God reveals Himself. I have to stop worrying if I am the right fit and just trust that the evidence that God has clearly brought us here and continues to work around us in amazing ways. He will make the fit, not me. It is a lesson in humility that I keep having to face and re-learn. Feeling that I am at times inept and don't have all the control simply reminds me of who does.
--Tim
Well, moving always leads to its own stresses, and having to move twice in less than six weeks' time was definitely taking its toll. Now, I don't want to sound like I am turning a blessing into a curse; I still think moving into the house will be great for us in the long run. Okay, disclaimer over. The past few days, it has felt like the work we have done to move has accomplished little, and everything we did do seemed to take three times longer than it should have. The house had been occupied by two single guys before we came in, and some things (i.e. the refrigerator) definitely reflected that. So besides moving, we've been cleaning. It was feeling a bit overwhelming.
But yesterday I was excited because we were going to buy a new mattress for our bed. We've been sleeping on these two creaky beds that were pushed together and not very comfortable, so a real bed will be a treat. There is not the standard boxspring and mattress that we are used to in the States, but we finally figured out the bedding options and found a great set that would fit the 160X200 cm bed frame that is already in the house, plus it was 30% off. It was such a relief to make that purchase at 8:30 that night because we had been feeling like we had accomplished only a small amount that day, but being able to sleep on a new bed--that would be accomplishment! When we went around back to get the mattress, we had our first snag: it wouldn't fit into the van. But I was able to arrange for delivery right away for only 100 krooni (around $8.00). Once the mattress was in the house and the delivery truck gone, Chris and I began to take it upstairs. It was way too large and couldn't fit up the stairs! I know it's a relatively small thing (I even know of people in the States who have done the same thing) but it was like the straw that broke the camel's back. I felt like giving up. We trudged back the apartment to those creaky beds for yet another night. Then I posted that dreary blog.
I was having desperate thoughts, that I was just like that mattress--not able to fit here. If I can't do a simple thing like buy a mattress, how can I do anything worthwhile here?
But today was a new day, and like Sara Groves sings, "Morning by morning I wake up to find/ The power and comfort of God's hand in mine/ Season by season I watch him amazed, in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways." We didn't get a ton of things done today, but we did make progress. I was worried about how the store would respond to the mattress problem, because store returns are rarely done here. But when I went in, I was able to work out purchasing two 80X200 cm bottom mattresses with one 160X200 thin top mattress (although the discussions, with my limited Estonian and their limited English, looked like a UN summit as everyone huddled around trying to work it out). Ahh, success! Plus, in the morning we received a call from one of the American missionaries here in Tartu whom we had yet to meet. She offered to take Elizabeth to play with her children for the day. This was a huge help because she often complains that she is bored or fights with Chris, which tends to slow down the packing and moving. We accomplished much more today because of that.
So it is in the little things that God often shows Himself faithful, as Sara Groves sings later in the song, "I can't remember a trial or a pain he did not recycle to bring me gain/ I can't remember one single regret in serving God only and trusting his hand/ . . . This is my anthem, this is my song, the theme of the stories I've heard for so long/ God has been faithful, he will be again. His loving compassion, it knows no end." I don't need big miracles, because every day that we've been here we've seen so many small mercies in which God reveals Himself. I have to stop worrying if I am the right fit and just trust that the evidence that God has clearly brought us here and continues to work around us in amazing ways. He will make the fit, not me. It is a lesson in humility that I keep having to face and re-learn. Feeling that I am at times inept and don't have all the control simply reminds me of who does.
--Tim
