pühapäev, detsember 05, 2004
Vanaema
Evelyn was chatting online with Karl Gustav (Estonia is one of the most internet connected nations in the world, so even orphinages are wired) and he mentioned that he was going to see his vanaema (grandmother). She mentioned that we would like to meet her sometime, and he said why not today. So I went with him.
It was quite a contrast to our visit with his mother yesterday. When we first arrived at her apartment in the Analinn part of town (which is populated by row after row of block style, Soviet-built apartment buildings), Karl Gustav asked me to wait outside the door while he let her know we were there. After 20 minutes of waiting and hearing discussion and stirring inside, he came out with her and said maybe it was best if we went someplace for coffee. I realized that since she now does not have Karl Gustav or his mother to help care for the apartment, it was probably not in a condition they would want to show.
We went to café at a nearby shopping center, I noticed that the grandmother was talking almost non-stop, it wasn't necessarily directed at me, and Karl Gustav seemed to be struggling with the conversation. It was like I was involved in what was happening but also excluded, participating but also observing. I felt like I had been swept into a whirlwind. After we dropped her off, Karl Gustav sheepishly said to me, "That was interesting." I smiled at him and he went on, "I don't know what you think of this." I told him I understood and that I was glad to meet his grandmother. I asked if her mind was well, and he said, "No." He had said to me earlier that he remembers when she used to tell him stories, and I think that was his way of saying that she is not the woman she used to be. When I brought him back to the childrens home, he invited me in for tea and we chatted a bit more. It gave us both a chance to unwind and relax once again, and I was able to let him know that I wasn't put off by the experience--plus, we joked together.
On the way home, I felt emotionally drained. I had so many thoughts about what just took place. I thought about Karl Gustav, who has to bear the burden of a sick mother, being separated from her at a childrens home that, although nice, he would rather not be at, and seeing his grandmother fail physically and mentally. This seems far too much for one 12-year-old boy. I kept thinking the ageless question countless others have asked: Why? Why him? Why so much to deal with all at once? How can this be fair?
I also thought about this obviously bright, polite, humerous, endearing boy, with his melt-your-heart smile and pre-adolescent tenor voice, and I contrasted that personality with the life he inhereted. The two didn't match somehow. How is it that such experiences don't crush a person? He does show some cracks, like the way he struggles to get out words (in English or Estonian) when he is nervous, but overall carries himself better than most young people his age. He has faced life's challenges and risen to meet them. Given the same circumstances, I don't know that I would do the same.
I remembered Isaiah 11:6: "In that day the wolf and the lamb will live together; the leopard and the goat will be at peace. Calves and yearlings will be safe among lions, and a little child will lead them all. " This is the vision of the Kingdom to come, the one the Church is working to build. Karl Gustav is leading through his life, unconsciously, without really trying. It helps me to believe that the Kingdom of God truly is within reach.
--Tim
It was quite a contrast to our visit with his mother yesterday. When we first arrived at her apartment in the Analinn part of town (which is populated by row after row of block style, Soviet-built apartment buildings), Karl Gustav asked me to wait outside the door while he let her know we were there. After 20 minutes of waiting and hearing discussion and stirring inside, he came out with her and said maybe it was best if we went someplace for coffee. I realized that since she now does not have Karl Gustav or his mother to help care for the apartment, it was probably not in a condition they would want to show.
We went to café at a nearby shopping center, I noticed that the grandmother was talking almost non-stop, it wasn't necessarily directed at me, and Karl Gustav seemed to be struggling with the conversation. It was like I was involved in what was happening but also excluded, participating but also observing. I felt like I had been swept into a whirlwind. After we dropped her off, Karl Gustav sheepishly said to me, "That was interesting." I smiled at him and he went on, "I don't know what you think of this." I told him I understood and that I was glad to meet his grandmother. I asked if her mind was well, and he said, "No." He had said to me earlier that he remembers when she used to tell him stories, and I think that was his way of saying that she is not the woman she used to be. When I brought him back to the childrens home, he invited me in for tea and we chatted a bit more. It gave us both a chance to unwind and relax once again, and I was able to let him know that I wasn't put off by the experience--plus, we joked together.
On the way home, I felt emotionally drained. I had so many thoughts about what just took place. I thought about Karl Gustav, who has to bear the burden of a sick mother, being separated from her at a childrens home that, although nice, he would rather not be at, and seeing his grandmother fail physically and mentally. This seems far too much for one 12-year-old boy. I kept thinking the ageless question countless others have asked: Why? Why him? Why so much to deal with all at once? How can this be fair?
I also thought about this obviously bright, polite, humerous, endearing boy, with his melt-your-heart smile and pre-adolescent tenor voice, and I contrasted that personality with the life he inhereted. The two didn't match somehow. How is it that such experiences don't crush a person? He does show some cracks, like the way he struggles to get out words (in English or Estonian) when he is nervous, but overall carries himself better than most young people his age. He has faced life's challenges and risen to meet them. Given the same circumstances, I don't know that I would do the same.
I remembered Isaiah 11:6: "In that day the wolf and the lamb will live together; the leopard and the goat will be at peace. Calves and yearlings will be safe among lions, and a little child will lead them all. " This is the vision of the Kingdom to come, the one the Church is working to build. Karl Gustav is leading through his life, unconsciously, without really trying. It helps me to believe that the Kingdom of God truly is within reach.
--Tim
