March Forth! Marssige Edasi!

It's funny how you don't realize the routines of daily life until you don't have them. In Chester, we knew we would be at the corps Monday through Friday and on Sunday for church, we knew Chris would be hanging out with his SGGG friends on Saturdays, we knew I had Rotary on Tuesdays, we knew the kids had the "Wonderful Wednesdays" homeschool co-op each week, we knew our one favorite TV show--Joan of Arcadia--was on each Friday, we knew when we needed to get up and go to bed to keep with the routines of each day. Now we are here and are still working out our routines. They really help to shape each day. It can be easy to let time slip away without realizing it when we don't have them.

That's the challenge of starting from scratch is creating those new routines. It's almost as challenging a work as anything else we've done. But I realize that we need that structure; it's how we work best. So pray for us as we try to work it all out and get those routines in place.

We have had a few things that have begun to start that process. Chris has been attending a youth group that meets at the home of an American couple here whose focus is reaching out to teens. It's like a gift, because we have no teens in our corps (or anyone else for that matter!) for him to be with. When I picked him up tonight, he was telling me what a great time he had, but that he really wants to learn as much Estonian as possible as soon as he can so that he can feel like he knows better what is going on all the time. There are kids who he can ask when he doesn't get things in the group, but I am impressed with his attitude that learning the language is the best way to find his place here. He's really doing well and we are proud of him.

Our own corps work, as it develops, will help us with our routines, I know. But like with so many other things, I am impatient for that to happen. Everything will happen in its time, and I am learning that tightrope act of when to wait and when to do something.
--Tim

I was listening to Bruce Cockburn tonight while I was packing still more of the stuff in the apartment. A line he sang really resonated with me: "I don't know why I should, but I feel content." That's the best way to describe how I'm feeling tonight: content. It's a good feeling, although there have been plenty of little things lately that could have left me feeling unsettled (literally and figuratively!).

I think it's this sense that through all of the unexpected things that have happened, the unplanned encounters, the prolonged settling-in time, God is working to prepare us for work He has for us here in Tartu. It's been the pattern of my life, really, when I bother to reflect on it. There are things I was able to do in Chester that I could not have had I not had seemingly unrelated experiences earlier in my life. It's like watching a building under construction and occasionally saying, "Oh, that piece went there so that this one now would work just right. Now I get it!"

Not saying that I get the big picture here in Tartu, but simply to say that God's working in my life in the past, especially the hard times when I didn't even realize He was working, are a good indication that He is continuing this process. What is happening now will intersect with what will need to be done later--probably in unexpected ways--and I will again encounter someone whom I've met recently, or draw from some challenge I faced today (like talking to the lady at the grocery meat counter) or God knows what, and suddenly I will say, "Now I get it!"

So I feel content. I share the feelings of another great lyricist--David--in Psalm 139 (which, by the way, our family is going to present as a "family item" during a regional rally in September): "You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!"
--Tim

We just finished watching "Forever Young" and the Olympics closing ceremony.

Funny that I've seen two sad love stories in two days!

Today we went to Narva. Their corps assistant is on her way to Moscow to be a cadet! Their farewell for her brought back memories of us leaving the Alexandria Corps. Seems like soooo long ago, but it was really only four years! Wow -- a lot has happened in those years!

In a week and a half, Tim will turn 40. We are not forever young!

The last verse of what I preached from today was 1 Corinthians 15:58 -- "always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord ... your labor for the Lord is not in vain." The whole chapter is pretty cool, great promises of victory over death, etc.

I have to remind myself that there is not a sharp distinction between sacred and secular, or at least there shouldn't be in my life. All my work, even moving into a new house, is the work of the Lord.

"In that day shall there be upon the bells of the horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the LORD'S house shall be like the bowls before the altar. Yea, every pot in Jerusalem and in Judah shall be holiness unto the LORD of hosts." (Zechariah 14:20-21)

Evelyn

We're about to spend our first night sleeping in the new house. We got Chris's bed put together. For some reason, the mattress is just a bit too big, but we made it fit.

We got the mattresses on our bed, and for some reason, they are a bit too small -- but they will work!

We watched "Monk" and "Shadowlands" on TV here tonight. The TV at the apartment only got in one channel, but the one here at the house gets in all three. It's fun to learn Estonian by reading the subtitles!

Some missionary friends drove by as we were about to go into the house tonight. It was nice to feel like we really live here, and to see people we know. Tartu is a small city (about 100,000 people), the type of place you can run into people.

It's been hard to leave the apt., and I think that reluctance has really slowed down the move. "There's no place like home" -- and after months of looking at photos and weeks of living there, it certainly felt like home to us. Now we have a new home, and a new corps as well. We are so grateful to have this place where we can live, and be homeschoolers, and have meetings, and do office work, and store humanitarian aid.

Tomorrow, we will go to the Narva Corps. I will preach for the first time in two months! We will bring clothes that Peter has outgrown; the corps officers are expecting a baby.

It will be nice to see some of the kids we got to know at camp.

I miss my cronies, my La Leche League and homeschooling friends. I miss my corps people and my family and my familiar routine.

But we are so happy to be, finally, home!

Evelyn

Okay, last night I was a bit down. Click here for a soundtrack for today's post, and here for the lyrics (the song is by an artist who always speaks to my heart, Sara Groves). Sorry it's such a short clip.

Well, moving always leads to its own stresses, and having to move twice in less than six weeks' time was definitely taking its toll. Now, I don't want to sound like I am turning a blessing into a curse; I still think moving into the house will be great for us in the long run. Okay, disclaimer over. The past few days, it has felt like the work we have done to move has accomplished little, and everything we did do seemed to take three times longer than it should have. The house had been occupied by two single guys before we came in, and some things (i.e. the refrigerator) definitely reflected that. So besides moving, we've been cleaning. It was feeling a bit overwhelming.

But yesterday I was excited because we were going to buy a new mattress for our bed. We've been sleeping on these two creaky beds that were pushed together and not very comfortable, so a real bed will be a treat. There is not the standard boxspring and mattress that we are used to in the States, but we finally figured out the bedding options and found a great set that would fit the 160X200 cm bed frame that is already in the house, plus it was 30% off. It was such a relief to make that purchase at 8:30 that night because we had been feeling like we had accomplished only a small amount that day, but being able to sleep on a new bed--that would be accomplishment! When we went around back to get the mattress, we had our first snag: it wouldn't fit into the van. But I was able to arrange for delivery right away for only 100 krooni (around $8.00). Once the mattress was in the house and the delivery truck gone, Chris and I began to take it upstairs. It was way too large and couldn't fit up the stairs! I know it's a relatively small thing (I even know of people in the States who have done the same thing) but it was like the straw that broke the camel's back. I felt like giving up. We trudged back the apartment to those creaky beds for yet another night. Then I posted that dreary blog.

I was having desperate thoughts, that I was just like that mattress--not able to fit here. If I can't do a simple thing like buy a mattress, how can I do anything worthwhile here?

But today was a new day, and like Sara Groves sings, "Morning by morning I wake up to find/ The power and comfort of God's hand in mine/ Season by season I watch him amazed, in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways." We didn't get a ton of things done today, but we did make progress. I was worried about how the store would respond to the mattress problem, because store returns are rarely done here. But when I went in, I was able to work out purchasing two 80X200 cm bottom mattresses with one 160X200 thin top mattress (although the discussions, with my limited Estonian and their limited English, looked like a UN summit as everyone huddled around trying to work it out). Ahh, success! Plus, in the morning we received a call from one of the American missionaries here in Tartu whom we had yet to meet. She offered to take Elizabeth to play with her children for the day. This was a huge help because she often complains that she is bored or fights with Chris, which tends to slow down the packing and moving. We accomplished much more today because of that.

So it is in the little things that God often shows Himself faithful, as Sara Groves sings later in the song, "I can't remember a trial or a pain he did not recycle to bring me gain/ I can't remember one single regret in serving God only and trusting his hand/ . . . This is my anthem, this is my song, the theme of the stories I've heard for so long/ God has been faithful, he will be again. His loving compassion, it knows no end." I don't need big miracles, because every day that we've been here we've seen so many small mercies in which God reveals Himself. I have to stop worrying if I am the right fit and just trust that the evidence that God has clearly brought us here and continues to work around us in amazing ways. He will make the fit, not me. It is a lesson in humility that I keep having to face and re-learn. Feeling that I am at times inept and don't have all the control simply reminds me of who does.
--Tim

It's been a day full of ups and downs. Now it's late, everyone but me is sleeping (including Peter, who is still not quite over his cold and only wants to sleep in my arms, so I am typing one handed). I am listening to a song I need to hear tonight, "All Who Are Weary" by Sherri Youngward (click here for a 1 minute clip of the song and here for the lyrics). It's based on Jesus' words in Matthew 11:28-29. May these words speak to your soul as they have mine.

I promise tomorrow I will tell you about all of our adventures today.
--Tim

There's an ad for Tombstone brand frozen pizza that says, "What do you want on your tombstone?" Two years ago, Tim and I bought a three-grave plot (always the bargain hunters, we got one for each of us and an extra to share!). It was important to me to get a good spot in Forest City Cemetery in Portland, Maine. This is where my grandparents and Tim's grandmother and infant brother are buried. I didn't want to end up out in the Back Forty somewhere in a few decades. (Well, not really me, but my ashes and dust!)

It's been interesting to see how different graveyards and tombstones look here in Estonia. The graveyards are more wild, and while kept up still are a lot more than just the grass you usually see in America. The tombstones are more simple, usually just a cross shape.

This has got me thinking again about how we want our tombstones to be. I know I want a reddish color, something to contrast with the white snow in Maine. And I want a tall tombstone, something that will not be covered up when the snow gets really deep. I've toyed with the idea of getting a bench, so it will at least serve a useful function.

But what to write on the tombstone, this is difficult to decide.

When we were in Tallinn last weekend, we picked up the July/August 2002 issue of The Officer magazine. It has an article about different Salvation Army gravesites, especially Generals. Here are some things written on the tombstones mentioned:
Born ... Born Again of the Spirit ... Went to Heaven
[Cool, and this is William Booth's (SA Founder), but when exactly was I born again?]
Called to Higher Service ... Promoted to Glory
Entered into Rest
"They Rest from their Labors and Their Works Follow Them" (Revelation 14:13)
[At first I thought this said, "their work follows them" and I certainly don't want that!]
Pioneer of The Salvation Army
["in Tartu, Estonia" -- yes, that would be nice!]
I Shout Hallelujah and Go On
[This is Samuel Logan Brengle's, so you'd think I'd love it, but I really don't]
A True Defender of the Faith
[session name or what?]
A Warrior of the Cross
[sounds too much like the Crusades]
Faithful Devoted Soldier of the Cross and Flag
At Peace with God

What I really want is something that expresses the idea that I'm having an eternal party, getting to do nothing but love Jesus "to infinity and beyond" -- and encouraging everyone who sees my tombstone to ask themselves what they'll be doing when they're in my shoes.

Faithful blog reader Andy Groff reminds me not to sermonize! So I will just very briefly mention that I am preaching this Sunday at the Narva (Russian-speaking) Corps on 1 Corinthians 15:13-20 ("Christ has indeed been raised from the dead"), 25-26 ("the last enemy to be destroyed is death"), 51-58 ("death has been swallowed up in victory").

You are thinking that I am getting quite morbid here! But death is just a normal part of life, just like birth is, and it's what has been on my mind lately.

So (in Estonian, nii) ... what do you want on your tombstone?

Evelyn Clark
Pioneer of The Salvation Army in Tartu, Estonia
Born July 1967
Born Again of the Spirit August 1999
Went to Heaven November 2039

It seems like years and years ago, but it was really only 7 months ago, that we went to MTI in Colorado for missionary training. http://www.mti.org/splice.htm

At the time, it occurred to me that "MTI" is pronounced like "empty eye" and that seemed so funny! Then I grabbed a Bible and started looking up things about eyes.

Check out Matthew 7:3-5 and Luke 6:41-42.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye," when all the time you yourself fail to see there is a plank in your own eye? You hypoctrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Man! So much for "gentle Jesus, meek and mild," eh! He really knows how to make someone squirm!

Well, I am so eternally grateful that everyone on staff at MTI had an "empty eye"! We knew that they weren't asking us to do anything they hadn't done themselves, that they had asked themselves the same difficult questions, and continued to ask them.

That's a pretty good life goal, to always have an empty eye. In The Salvation Army, we call that holiness. It's what the whole salvation thing is really getting at -- "full salvation" it's sometimes called even.

I saw an awesome web site I have to share with you.
www.takebackourfaith.org

Some excerpts for those of you who might not feel like clicking on links:
We believe that poverty - caring for the poor and vulnerable - is a religious issue. (Matthew 25:35-40, Isaiah 10:1-2)
We believe that human rights - respecting the image of God in every person - is a religious issue. (Genesis 1:27)
We believe that a consistent ethic of human life is a religious issue. Do the candidates' positions on abortion, capital punishment, euthanasia, weapons of mass destruction, HIV/AIDS-and other pandemics-and genocide around the world obey the biblical injunction to choose life? (Deuteronomy 30:19)

I told you it was awesome!

Evelyn

Evelyn already gave her view of camp, but there was so much to tell, I wanted to put my two cents--wait, I'm in Estonia; two senti--in as well.

Camp was a real chance to see what could be with the Tartu Corps. It was great to see the young people from the other two corps who are excited about their faith and worked together to build community during those five days. It was especially encouraging to see the Estonian speaking kids and the Russian speaking kids working together. There are a lot of tensions between the two groups in this country, but these young people were a great example of what can be. I often saw the kids who knew both Estonian and Russian translating for those who only knew Russian, and when it came to dance and drama, they blended without the need for language. We really miss those kids and hope that one day soon we will have young people just like them involved in our work here.

There are four boys who were really special for us: David, Riet and Ergo from Tallinn and Anton from Narva. These guys, who range in age from 13-15, were constantly hovering around Peter and wanting to talk with him and hold him. You wouldn't expect that from boys, but they were really enthralled with him. Toward the beginning of the week, Riet was the first one to ask to hold Peter, and after he had him, he turned to David and Ergo and said with a silly grin, "Minu laps" (my kid). Evelyn dubbed each boy as Peter's suur vend (big brother), which they loved, although Evelyn mispronounced "suur" and David helped her until she got it right!

There are so many images I could write about, but I'll use pictures instead. Go to this page for some shots of the camp. If you click on the first picture, you will be able to see it larger and then scroll through the others by clicking on the "next" arrow.

With the new house, we are already dreaming of what may happen here in Tartu and the images we will have in the future. I was so glad for the inspiration these young people provided.
--Tim

Home. Sometimes just the sound of the word can set your heart longing for a fixed place where you can hang your hat. That's how I've been feeling the past few days after our wonderful week at camp, the adventure with the van repair, and the visit to the Tallinn Corps. So tonight when we pulled into Tartu, I think we were all overwhelmed with a feeling that we were home again. Tartu really has become home in our hearts, the place where we feel we belong, where we want to be.

I needed to be reminded of that when we walked into our apartment to see half-unpacked boxes and things that didn't quite get put into their places before we stopped settling in to this apartment. Tartu is home, but where we live is changing, and that--to me--is a big distinction. Tomorrow we will begin the process of repacking all of our things. We will go to the house and begin moving all of our things in and settling in. And we will make it our home.

I do believe that God opened the doors for this opportunity and am so glad for it. It will give us so many more options for having meetings, or meeting with people, or storing supplies to distribute to those in need. I'm just not relishing the idea of hauling boxes :-)

Today in Tallinn, Major Phil Wittenberg spoke about how we need one another if we are to accomplish anything for the Kingdom. It was a truth I needed to hear again. It made me think of our friends around the world, including those who read this blog each day. I believe the opportunities that have opened up for us since we've come here--such as the people we've met, the van, the new house, the people I got to know in Loksa when the van broke down--have all come about in part because of the thoughts and prayers of those around us. We need you. Our friends and family are our home in that broader sense; if we need a place to hang our hats, share our concerns, express our joys or simply tell our our experiences, you are there. Thanks!

We got some great pictures at Loksa and in Narva. I'll post them tomorrow and put the link on the blog. Keep us in your prayers!
--Tim

We spent the week at Camp Loksa, the Salvation Army camp here for the Estonia Region. There are 33 beds in the big cabin/house, and they were all full! We had three babies (one three months old, Peter who is five-and-a-half-months old, and one a year-and-a-half old), six officers, and kids from Tallinn who spoke Estonian, Narva who spoke Russian, and of course us oddballs who spoke English. It was a lot of late nights, but we had so much fun! It really made us long to have a corps of our own and our own people.

The kids were SO good! They ranged in age from 8-18, and took responsibility to wash the dishes, clean the bathrooms, etc. One of the most amazing things to us was a group of boys, ages 13-15, who were constantly begging to hold Peter! Each one was given the honorary title of "suur vend" (big brother). Chris was glad to be relieved of some of his own big-brother duties and just hang out with other teens for a week.

Elizabeth was thrilled to be a camper for the first time. She slept in a room with eight other girls, sleeping on the top bunk and sitting with her friends (never her parents!) at mealtimes. We have often heard of cousin DeBrekah going to Camp Sebago, so it was wonderful for Elizabeth to have this experience as well.

When the time came to leave camp, we were the last to get in our van to drive away. But it would not start! Thank God for cell phones. We were able to call some of the people who had left minutes before, and they came back to help us. We pulled the two vans up close to each other and tried using jumper cables, but the battery did not seem to be the problem. Mario (the Estonian cadet) went with Tim to a garage, but of course it was closed because it was a holiday, Re-Independence Day.

Then I remembered that one of our friends in Tartu knows someone whose father pastors a church in Loksa. What luck! This guy (who speaks English -- his parents do not) was actually in Loksa visiting his family for the holiday! And, he had a friend who was a mechanic! So, long story short, we used our bridgebuilding skills so well honed in Chester, and got the help we needed.

This would have been a stressful situation even in America, where we could have called AAA or gone to a garage that would be open even on a holiday. We are so grateful that God came to our rescue!

For those of you so inclined, the problem was the starter, which had to be replaced. We got the van back by 2:00 the next afternoon, which never would have happened in America!

After staying up late at night and having to get up early in the morning for a week, we were all exhausted. After being exposed to lots of new people in Narva and then Loksa, the kids all got colds. Peter is really suffering the worst. It is hard to nurse with a stuffy nose! Last night, Peter cried hysterically for two hours straight. Finally, at midnight, he just fell asleep from exhaustion. Fortunately (?) we have had some experience with this, as he had colic for about a month beginning when he was three weeks old. But it was still heartbreaking!

We decided to come to Tallinn tonight, which is only an hour from camp, rather than driving all the way back to Tartu. This means that Chris was able to spend some more time with his friends this evening, and we will be able to attend the Tallinn Kopli Corps tomorrow.

Please e-mail us! We would love to hear from you!

Evelyn Clark
Kapten

Today is my cousin Andy's 34th birthday! We were going to call him at midnight, but didn't get out of bed in time (7 a.m. here). Andy is the third child in his family, born after his parents already had a son and a daughter. When I think of what delight Peter gives to us, I can just imagine what a treasure he was to his parents.

Andy is more like a brother than a cousin to me. His mother and my mother had a baby every other year, so that our birth order is Evelyn Smith, Debbie Groff, Mary-Kay Smith, Andy Groff, Katherine Smith.

Andy became engaged this year, to the beautiful and vivacious Rachel. We look forward to having her in the family! (We were going to name our baby Rachel if it was a girl.)

Our 5-month-old son, Peter Jonah Clark, was named after Andy's mother, my Aunt Joann. I was thinking about this in bed this morning, after the alarm went off and while I was nursing the baby. I think it's quite interesting that Peter and Andy are both the third child, both boys, both born after a boy and a girl.

Andy was named "Master Maine" in a child's beauty contest when we were little. He had beautiful blond curly hair and really was adorable -- the most handsome boy in the whole state! This led to the first of many trips to Florida for the Groff family.

Andy is generous almost to a fault. He defends my mother as if she were his own. He loves children and is such a great uncle to them -- taking Chris to the movies or holding Elizabeth upside down so she can walk on the ceiling.

Andy is the biggest person I know. He is as tall as a mountain (although I think in a few years, Chris might catch up to him!). He is also, much like his mother, big in spirit and heart. Aunt Joann called him a "gentle giant" and this is an apt description! We compare him to Hagrid and Shrek.

Andy loves to listen to music like Doris Day and Frank Sinatra. Andy bought his grandparents' house in Sanford, Maine, and lives there now. Andy likes to make prank phone calls (he once called me up and pretended to be offering me free baby formula, just to get me riled!).

The night before we left America, we were at the camp Andy owns with his brother and sister (to be kept in the family for all of time, according to their mothers' will!). We had such a good time with him and Rachel and Mary-Kay, watching people set off fireworks in the middle of the lake, and lighting sparklers and things I don't know the name of (London Bridge?).

Andy has the coollest middle name of anyone I've ever known -- his mother's maiden name.

Andy is our most faithful blog-reader, and isn't afraid of hitting the Comments button after reading a post.

If you know Andy, please give him a phone call or send him an e-mail or stop by and say "happy birthday!" to him today. If you don't know Andy, please think of someone like him in your life -- a cousin, a brother, a friend -- and tell him how much you love him (or her! the Estonian language has no he/she distinction) and why.

Today is a busy day for us. This weekend and next week, as well!

This morning, we will go to Kalevi 90 to get some more practical information about the house Tim blogged about yesterday. Kalev is my favorite chocolate -- http://www.kalev.ee/pages.php/02
It's named after a famous epic poem -- http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Kalevipoeg

This afternoon, we will leave for Narva. We're especially looking forward to seeing this castle -- http://www.narvamuuseum.ee/

Tomorrow, Tim will preach at the Narva Corps.

Monday-Friday, we will be at the Salvation Army youth camp here in Estonia. Wednesday morning and evening, we will be leading devotions there.

A week from yesterday is 20 August - Day of Restoration of Independence. Dramatic developments in the Soviet Union in August 1991 resulted in the three Baltic countries finally regaining their independence. On 20 August 1991, Estonia issued a decision on the re-establishment of independence on the basis of historical continuity of statehood.

And somewhere in there, we need to pack up this whole apartment (remember, 96 boxes came from America, plus 10 suitcases we brought on the plane) and move to the house! Oy veh!

Happy birthday to Andy, and a happy weekend to the rest of you!

Please continue to check our blog every day if that is your habit, but don't be too disappointed if there's not a new post until Friday.

Evelyn

It's hard to believe it, but we will be moving already! Not out of Tartu (never!) but from our apartment into a house. It all happened rather suddenly, so let me give you the rundown.

Before we moved here, we had heard that there was a house available from a Christian couple who will be teaching in Prague, Czech Republic, for two years. Things didn't work out at the time and our regional commanders found us the apartment, and we were absolutely happy with the arrangements. Then a few days ago we were contacted by the couple who owns the house, saying that they were leaving the country on Monday, and would we be interested in renting the house. We didn't know what to think, but went to see the house. They feel strongly that they would like a Christian family living in the house and would want the house used for ministry. It is a two-bedroom, three-level house which includes an office space with a separate entrance, and a large living-room type area that can seat 15-20 people and has a piano. An office and a meeting room meet two of our short-term needs, and are things we would have had to rent anyway.

Although it sounded too good to be true, we were still unsure if this was the best thing to do. We met with our regional commander about it and his enthusiastic response was, "This is an answer to prayer!" He felt that we can make it work with the budget and it meets many needs that will be beneficial to the Army. We still need to meet with him and the Chief Secretary of Finland & Estonia (his boss) to finalize the arrangements, but the move is 99% sure at this point. It has happened so quickly we have barely had time to catch our breath.

We considered it a privilege to live in the Soviet-style apartment we have now, but realize this Estonian-style house really will make it better for us to do our work. Besides the office and meeting room (which will be great as we start the corps), the house has a roomy kitchen with a dishwasher and normal-size refrigerator (we feel so spoiled), a family room, the two bedrooms, a barn-like garage and shed that will be perfect for storing humanitarian aid for the corps, and a huge yard with a swing set, treehouse, sandbox and childrens' playhouse, along with apple trees and berry bushes. It even has the standard requirement for any Estonian house: a sauna! I'm still adjusting to that idea.

We had just really settled into the apartment, and even unpacked most of the boxes from our shipment, so it will be a bit of uprooting and resettling for the moment. But overall this will be best for our family (just imagine Elizabeth in that big yard) and for our outreach in Tartu.

We won't start moving in until the end of next week because we will be at an Army youth camp all next week. Please keep us in your prayers as we start the process of settling all over again, and also that it will not distract us from the work we were sent here to do.

Because we are going to be at the youth camp and leave for Narva tomorrow, we don't know if we will have access to the Internet. So if we don't post to the blog for a few days, please don't give up on us! We'll post again as soon as we can.
--Tim

This weekend we will be visiting the Narva Corps. We can't wait to travel to Estonia's northeast corner (http://www.narva.ee/eng/) where we will be able to look across the river and see Russia. There are many historic sites there (including a castle) that I'm sure will be very interesting, but we are especially excited about meeting the corps officers, Captains Anya and Dan Henderson. They opened the Army's work in Narva, and I'm sure their experience and insight will be a great help as we look at what we should do in Tartu.

They asked me to preach this Sunday, which after more than six weeks out of the pulpit leaves me feeling both excited and nervous. I will be speaking with a translator who will translate into Russian (the predominant language in that part of the country), which I have done a few times, but I always worry about saying too much at once, making it difficult for the translator, or too little, so that s/he is having to speak in little snippets. But I know I tend to worry about these things too much and so am trying to relax and enjoy the opportunity to share with the people there.

I've been drawn toward Mark 12:28-34, which speaks of the greatest commandment being to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and to love your neighbor as yourself. As I've been preparing for this sermon, I've seen in a fresh way that anything I do for others cannot be driven by motives such as obligation, the desire to do right, or any other noble thought. I need to love God wholly--a true love relationship--and let that love be the model and the motive for the love I show to others. That has been a good word for me to hear, a caution to check my motives now while we are still in the beginning stages here. It reminds me of the prophetic words of Samuel Logan Brengle: "It is not enough to wear the uniform, to profess loyalty to Army leaders and principles, to give our goods to feed the poor and our bodies to be burned. We must love one another. We must make this the badge of our discipleship. We must wrestle and pray and hold fast that we do not lose this ... Love is the life of The Army ... But if love leaks out we shall lose our crown, we shall have a name to live and yet be dead. We may still house the homeless, dole out food to the hungry, punctiliously perform our routine work, but the mighty ministry of the Spirit will no longer be our glory." (Ancient Prophets, "What About the Future of the Salvation Army?", http://www.sabooks.org.uk/downloads/Ancient%20Prophets%20-%20Samuel%20Logan%20Brengle.pdf

I am so grateful for this reminder to plug the leaks.
--Tim

Chris has just reading a book called The Road from Home and now I'm reading it.

Today the road from our home was more like "you can't get there from here!" We left at 8:30 in the morning to go to Salvation Army Regional Headquarters in Tallinn -- a trip which usually takes two hours and fifteen minutes. But today the one and only road between here and there was closed for construction! After eventually finding a detour, we made it there in about three and a half hours.

"I have always known that at last I would take this road, but yesterday I did not know that it would be today." – Narihara

I remember writing this at the beginning of an article that eventually appeared in The War Cry, about going forward for officership (20 years ago -- no kidding!).

It's 11:00 at night here, and after a long and tiring and busy day, I'm ready for bed!

There is something so wonderful about returning home, and this is how I felt tonight as we entered Tartu.

One of my favorite songs has always been "Oh, God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast and our eternal home" ... and my prayer is that He is all of these things to you as well!

Evelyn

We're doing well unpacking the shipment of 96 boxes which arrived on Friday. But we still haven't unpacked our many boxes of books (except the Sonlight homeschooling stuff!) because we don't have bookcases to put them in. Tim went out with a guy today who showed him a bunch of stores, including a furniture store that is going out of business (hurray!). So soon that should be taken care of.

Chris went out tonight with a youth group at the Botanical Garden here. After we dropped him off, we walked around the grounds. It was SO beautiful! Hey, check it out at http://www.ut.ee/botaed/

I remember that the first field trip we took to D.C. after moving to Virginia was to the Botanic Garden. http://www.usbg.gov/

Three weeks ago, Tim went to the Botanical Garden for the welcome reception on his first day of language school.

Flowers (and -- thank God -- chocolate!) are abundant here and an important part of the culture. We always have fresh flowers in the house, usually a vase in every room. The other day I was thrilled to find some edelweiss! We got a small bouquet for only 5 krooni! (A dollar is about 12.5 krooni.) I was reminded of singing "Edelweiss" at Aunt Joann's funeral last summer.

Today we kept opening boxes that said they contain CDs, trying to find Christopher's music. We didn't find his yet, but we did find a lot of mine and Tim's. It is so nice to be able to listen to "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever" as I type!

Tomorrow we will go to Tallinn to meet with our Regional Commanders and the finance staff.

Please pray for us, as we have some important and difficult decisions to make. We really want to hear God's voice and not only be acting on what seems to be logical to us! We're grateful for logic, but we really need wisdom as well!

If you've been reading our blog, we'd love to hear from you!

Evelyn (for Tim, Chris, Elizabeth & Peter)

We were asked today by a faithful reader (thanks @) how things are going with the kids, so here's an update.

The first few days in Estonia, Chris had a difficult time adjusting and was not very happy to be here. But then he connected with the youth group of the Baptist church not far from our house, who happened to be hosting a group of American teens for a week. They were there to help build the youth outreach of the church, and Chris threw himself right into the activities. It was a good bridge for him because he got to be with American kids, but also got to know some of the Estonian kids, whom he still sees now and then. One of the funniest things for him was when one of the Americans, after hearing that Chris lives in Estonia, complimented him on his good English! Now Chris has adjusted and is finding his place here. He has a bike that Auntie Mary-Kay bought for him and loves to ride all around town. It's a very safe city, and bike friendly, so he enjoys this freedom. His biggest concern now is wondering when we are finally going to get something started with this corps :-)

Elizabeth made the adjustment amazingly well. After only a few days here, she said to us, "This is so much better than I thought it would be." She is making her bedroom her own space (even though it also serves as our living room), and still spends lots of time working on her sticker book. One recent addition she is especially proud of is a "Welcome to Estonia" logo sticker (www.welcometoestonia.com --in the upper left corner). Since the shipment arrived, she has really gotten into the "Adventures in Odyssey" stories we have on tape and listens to them constantly. She has gained self-confidence and is far less shy here. We were at a book shop and she was sitting on the floor looking at a picture book. One of the employees came up to her and made a request in Estonian. Elizabeth politely said, "I only speak English," and the lady kindly explained in her best English that she wanted Elizabeth to sit over to the side. A simple situation, but in the past such a "confrontation" would have completely freaked her out. She also loves to go the local playgrounds, running, jumping and spinning with all the other children even though she doesn't understand most of what they say and they don't understand most of what she says. I am completely amazed at how she is embracing this new reality and not letting it slow her down. I am very proud of her.

Peter has not complained at all about being here :-) He continues to grow and do all of those things babies his age tend to do: rolling onto his belly from his back, pushing up his head when he is on his stomach, screeching and squealing just so he can hear his voice, holding onto toys and chomping on anything within range of his mouth. He's provided many opportunities for us to meet people, like when we are walking down the street and older ladies stop to talk baby talk in Estonian, or in the outdoor market when I have seen people smile at him, and he smiles right back (he is very generous with those). It is amazing how babies around the world tend to bring such a sense of well-being and happiness to people they meet. I think he may be a good ice-breaker as we meet new people here.

The bottom line is that the kids have had their ups and downs, but are finding their place here and making it their home. We are proud parents!
--Tim

We had the first meeting of the Tartu Corps today. We decided to stay home and have a family worship time :-)

It was fun. We sang some songs along with a kids' Sunday School tape we just got in the shipment; we sang some songs in Estonian that Evelyn and the kids had learned when they were part of a Vacation Bible School here; we prayed and we read the story in Matthew 14:22-33 of when Jesus and Peter walked on the water. I was really glad we had this time together. We plan to have a worship time each day now, rotating who plans the day between the four of us who can talk (Peter can have his time later).

Tomorrow begins my first work week since school ended. It feels odd in a way because the classes gave a real rhythm to my day, and now I need to find a new pattern to follow. I have a long list of things I want to accomplish in the coming week, but it feels so different because I have the freedom to completely set the direction of what I do (or don't) that I didn't have in an established corps like Chester. Evelyn has said before that building relationships is our main job right now, and we've already seen some of these. I'm looking forward to the surprising relationships I expect will come along in the future.

I ran into Hans-Peter from my class when we were taking a walk through town tonight. We chatted for a while and he asked me how many more soldiers would be coming in to help start the work here. I told him that we are it; anything else that happens will be developed locally with people who are from the community. Although something tells me that this should feel overwhelming, I actually find it exciting that the leaders and doers of the Tartu Corps are already here--we just haven't met them yet!
--Tim

It's hard to write on a Saturday night when I find myself missing the opportunity to preach on Sunday morning! And I want to resist the urge to turn this blog into a daily sermon. (Sighs are heard all over the world!)

Preaching, and corps officership in general, is a lot like raising kids. It's a lot of work and can even seem like a real burden when you're having to do it all the time, but you sure do miss it after a while! I've always enjoyed preaching, enjoyed the interaction with the Bible and also with "my" people. It feels very weird not to be preaching after doing it every other week for three years straight.

For now, we "preach" differently -- through building relationships with everyone we can. But that's also what we spent three years in Chester doing. One of the highest compliments we've ever been paid was when our Advisory Board chairman referred to us as "Bridgebuilders" -- long before it was actually a Salvation Army session name!

So, we're busy unpacking all our boxes from the shipment that arrived yesterday. I laughed today when Tim unwrapped shoes that had been individually covered in many layers of paper as if they were crystal! Those 96 boxes are mostly full of packing material.

One thing we brought here is a bowl which we received at our Field Training corps while we were cadets. On it is a quote from the Founder of The Salvation Army, General William Booth: "Comrades, whatever other gifts you have, if you are to succeed, you must have hearts, and hearts that can feel."

Wow. Well, there it is, folks! When we got this bowl, I really had no idea what it meant, other than a vague reference to the many pieces of advice we were given along the lines of "love your people." The reality is, hearts that can feel are hearts that can be broken! Our hearts were broken so often when we were in Chester (the third poorest city in America).

Another thing we brought with us was a paperweight which reminds me of Lisa Cisco, one of my homeless (and mentally ill) friends from Chester. "My friends are laying in the street tonight. And I had to leave them there.... We lock the door and I walk home to my warm bed. To a fridge where there is food and a shower that is clean." (http://www.armybarmy.com/blog.html)

I remember lying in bed at night worrying about my homeless friends. Worrying about soldiers. Worrying about employees. Praying, begging, pleading with God to intervene in their lives! To heal their mental illness, or addiction, or whatever their need was, as you so often read in the Bible of Jesus healing people.

Did healing take place when we were in Chester? Will we see healing here in Tartu?

How about another quote from the Founder! This is something we printed out from http://www.armybarmy.com/images/boothpostcard.pdf (you caught me! I'm a HUGE ArmyBarmy fan!): "Your days at the most cannot be very long, so use them to the best of your ability for the glory of God and the benefit of your generation."

Well, there's nothing I can add to that! As I used to say in Chester all the time -- "we're workin' on it!"

Evelyn

Seven weeks ago, the moving company packed up all our stuff for Estonia, and also took all the stuff we are storing while we are here.

Today, we got 96 boxes (not 98 as we originally thought) delivered to us here at our apt. in Tartu.

The kids are excited to have the transformers, which means they can use their American electronic stuff. Tim's excited to have his tea and kitchen stuff.

It's weird to be without the things that are special and familiar to you. It's funny now to see some of the things we chose to bring. We are really HOME now. KODU in Estonian. A month ago we arrived in Estonia. Now we are really living here.

We went out to eat to celebrate, to have my favorite meal here of lasagne at La Dolce Vita restaurant. It really is "the sweet life" and we are so grateful to be here!

Tim already wrote about our dinner at the landlord's house last night. What he didn't mention is that she gave 5-month-old Peter his first taste of solid food -- cake! I remember Tim's sister, Susan, who is also a Salvation Army officer, warning us that someone from our corps would probably end up feeding him before we knew it. Then when she remembered about us moving here, she took it back. But in the end, she was right! And we are reminded once again that our "corps" here is really everyone in the whole city of Tartu!

I'm listening to PereRaadio (Family Radio) -- http://www.saaremaa.ee/pereraadio/eng_index.html

"Maailm eest Jumal" -- the world for God!

Evelyn

We had dinner with our landlord and her son tonight. It was a good opportunity to get to know them better, and gave us a view of a real Estonian home and real Estonian food. We ate in their backyard. We had weiners (like small hot dogs) and vorst (kind of like Italian sausage, but there seems to be hundreds of varieties) cooked on the grill, potato and egg salad, tomato and cucumber salad with sour cream, bread, cake and ice-cream. It was good local food and another great opportunity to build relationships.

Our shipment from the USA arrives tomorrow. We've been living on what we brought in our 10 suitcases for the past month; now we're trying to figure out where we are going to fit 98 boxes of things in our two-bedroom apartment! We're planning around a week to get it all sorted and unpacked so that we can really have a place for everything. We tried to be conservative when we packed, but now we are wondering.

When the shipper called today to tell us they're coming tomorrow, he said that one of the crates used to move our stuff was damaged in transit. He doesn't know if anything was damaged; we will have to check the boxes that are in that part of the crate once they deliver it. We are hoping it will be okay.

I spoke with one of my classmates today who wanted to tell me that he had had an interesting discussion on spirituality with some of the others the night before. I was so glad that he saw me as a person to talk to about spiritual things. He told me that he is a Buddhist, and he despaired over the lack of faith expressed by the people around him, and Europeans in general (a feeling I have also had). He has found purpose and direction in his belief, and felt a strong affinity with me because he said he could see I am the same. I asked how he came to his belief, and he gladly shared his story. I was able to talk about my own spiritual journey and how I have seen God working in my life. It was an interesting and respectful conversation as the Christian and the Buddhist walked through Raekoja Plats (Town Hall Square) discussing the meaning of life, until some of the others came along and turned the conversation in another direction.

I am grateful that God gave me that opportunity to talk with him and learn from his point of view. Please pray for Hans-Peter, that his openness to spiritual things and his search for a meaningful expression of his faith will lead him to the Saviour.
--Tim

I was all set to call our landlady this morning about the refrigerator when I checked it one last time and found that the motor was running and the freezer was starting to get cold again. Hard to understand, but at least it is working. But I have a feeling that every day I am going to be double-checking to make sure it is still running.

Today is Peter's five-month birthday! It's incredible the positive effect he has had on our life. In this time of transition, he has caused us to slow down and not rush ahead blindly. He has needs that can't wait for us to do "one more thing." It has been a blessing and I think it will help us to take the time to do things well in Tartu.

He was the center of attention tonight, when we got together with the members of my Estonian language class at the home of one of the teachers. He was in a smiling good mood most of the night and everyone in the class wanted a chance to hold him. He heard so many languages tonight, since the people in the room come from Estonia, Germany, Lithuania, France, Sweden, Japan, Czech Republic and Korea. One of the students, Viada, kept wanting to hold him and would then coo over him in Lithuanian--to which he would just smile and kick his legs.

This room full of people from so many nations drawn together by what they had in common gave me a glimpse of the Kingdom of God. He is building His kingdom here among us all, and it is not bound by nationality. It also reminded me of Jesus' parable of the weeds in the field, which He explained to His disciples saying, "The field is the world, and the good seed represents the people of the Kingdom." My classmates are not believers, and they are the field God so desires to reap. I've had some good discussions with some of them (they are open to far deeper conversations than most Americans I know), but their worldview is very different from mine. I will need wisdom as I try to be the good seed in Tartu, but knowing these people helps me to see that the field is ripe for the harvest.
--Tim

Well, I had planned to write about Joshua 1:9 and all that. But now I'm side-tracked.

We've been hearing a dripping noise coming from the kitchen all evening, and not been able to figure out the source of it. While I was nursing the baby (again!), I asked God to help us discover the source of this dripping, because it really had me worried that there would be a flood from a broken pipe or something when we got up in the morning.

We have a little Russian refrigerator that has the freezer inside on top, not in its own separate compartment. The water from the melting freezer was dripping into the fridge (as it's meant to do) and then into a little pan under the fridge (as it's meant to do). When I opened the freezer, I saw that my concerns about how to defrost it had been solved! No ice at all. Uh-oh. I feel the fridge; it's not cold. I get Tim, he pulls it out (an event in itself, the linoleum under it is quite ripped and warped), plugs it into another outlet, looks around with a flashlight.... Yep, he says, it's not working.

Handyman that he is, he goes back to watching "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" with Chris, the DVD being a gift from Auntie who just left. (To be honest, I told him he might as well finish the movie since there's nothing we can do right now. And he is holding Peter so I can type this.)

The ironic thing is, I gave the fridge a really thorough cleaning for the first time today. So somehow, which I cannot for the life of me imagine, I broke the fridge by cleaning it. While I was cleaning it, Tim was out buying groceries. Fortunately, he didn't get many perishable things -- since we have such a small fridge.

We had ice-cream for dessert and I noticed how soft it was. Tim said it was just because I had the fridge door open when I was cleaning it. But nope, it was broken.

"Be strong and courageous" when your fridge stops working for no apparent reason? Yep. The whole time I was cleaning it, I was trying not to think of the big wonderful fridge we had in Pennsylvania.

Before Elizabeth went to sleep, she said she was afraid that something bad was going to happen. I hope this was it.

Pray for us, friends. If we don't let little things like this drive us crazy, we'll be fine.

"The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." My mother gave me a suncatcher with these words on it, and I hung it in a window today.

In Chester, "do not be terrified" would have been the words with the most meaning for me. Here, perhaps it will be "do not be discouraged"! A command, not a suggestion!

At the end of our commissiong, we sang, "Be strong and courageous." Some of our sessionmates were disappointed that it was a change from the traditonal "I'll go in the strength of the Lord." But it was really the Word we needed then, and continue to need now.

At least we finished off the ice-cream!

Kapten Evelyn Clark

Four weeks ago today, we left America on our way to Estonia. It has felt a bit surreal to be finally doing things which we had planned for so long.

This is Tim's last week of full-time language classes. We will hire a tutor to study with privately, and he will continue this class with a web-based course in the fall, but he won't be getting up every morning and going to school as he has been doing. And we don't get up every morning and go to an office, because we have no office to go to!

So what do we do when we get up every morning? As with every move, even just moving to another state within America, there has been a lot of little practical things. Finding the grocery stores. Opening a bank account. But everything takes us longer because we do it with dictionary in hand and asking, "Do you speak English?" Most young people here do, and many in the service sector do.

We had to have someone from Elion (the phone company) come to our apartment to get our ADSL up and running. We had the computer, had the modem, the ADSL was turned on from their office, but it just wasn't working. This man spent a long time at our place trying to figure out the problem, and then gave us his modem and took our modem with him because it had to be configured just so (I have no idea what all this means, but this is what I was told!). Anyway, this man who was so helpful to us was actually apologetic because he didn't speak better English! This is often the case. And of course we are embarrassed and apologize for our lack of Estonian language skills.

I am SO aware that what we're going through and most of the thoughts we have are not at all unique. Yesterday, sitting in church, I started thinking about Jesus being willing to cross cultures and learn to speak human language. Imagine what it must have been like to leave heaven and come here! No wonder He spent so much time in prayer -- He must have been quite homesick!

I was praying that God would show us OUR people (with echoes of William Booth taking Bramwell to a saloon and saying, "These are our people."). I remember being in Training and feeling like a shepherd without sheep. And now we have this same feeling again. But we're absolutely surrounded by lost sheep; we just have to bring them into the fold!

Today is the last full day for Tädi Mary-Kay to be here with us. It has been so good for the kids to have her here spoiling them and showing her excitement for Tartu. It is hard to believe that we actually live in the same time zone she does! (She is the director of an international school in Moldova.) Today she is taking the kids to what we've been calling "Splashtown Estonia" -- http://www.aurakeskus.ee/en.html

Evelyn

Today we worshipped at the Kolgata Baptistikogudus (Calvary Baptist Church), which is where Chris has some friends and was involved in some of their youth activities. We felt so proud that we could figure out the song numbers when they were announced ("viissada nelikümmend kaks"--542) without having to look at the pages of those around us. We sing the words without understanding most of them, but still feel united with the people around us and the One we have come to worship. There was also a stirring sense of oneness when they prayed together the Lord's Prayer, which I recognized by the cadence of the words. I look forward to the day when we pray this prayer in the Tartu Corps.
--Tim