March Forth! Marssige Edasi!

I have been shocked and saddened to talk to Salvationists who truly do not believe one little bit that we are to win the world for God! "Sure, maybe before the two world wars, when we were young and naive, but no one thinks that way now!"

Please forgive me for sharing so many quotes from others lately and not much of my own words. But I can't resist giving you this. And you know that if I'm thinking about sports at all, it has got to be serious! Please click on the links for more.

Never Give Up
You have to capture the mentality of the Red Sox fan. You start every season and every game almost completely sure that you will be beaten soundly. You lick your wounds and dust yourself off and maybe cry a little into your pillow. But you always, always think to yourself, "This could be it. This could be the year." You do it because you want to be there at the turning of the tide. When that day does dawn, when some October night in a time to come absorbs the victory roar of people who have watched great-grandfathers and grandfathers and fathers live entire lives and die unfulfilled, when the Boston Red Sox finally win that championship, it will have been worth every moment of pain and disappointment.
For the Boston Red Sox, and for those who followed them and never gave up on them through sixteen Presidents, Prohibition, Women's Suffrage, the Civil Rights Act, the introduction of the Big Bang theory, Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, the Depression, World War II, the Holocaust, the obliteration of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the long slog of the Cold War, Korea, the fall of Saigon, the fall of Baghdad, the attacks of September 11, the assassinations of Gandhi, Evers, King, Kennedy, Kennedy and X, the long, strange trip that has been the stewardship of George W. Bush, and everything else that has marched across the pages of history for the last 86 years, there is a lesson in here somewhere.
Source: William Rivers Pitt, "Believe," truthout

Chris and I spent the last two days at a workshop on worship called "Lifted High" held at the Baptist church down the street. It has been the kind of event that makes me love it here in Estonia. The people who attended were from all over the country, and the worship band was from Latvia, which meant that they did not speak Estonian. So during the times we sang worship songs, it was done in English. It is the kind of cultural mesh that happens here all the time, and the people make it work. The music workshop I was a part of is another good example: it was taught by a Latvian Christian Russian-speaking Jew, and so again we had a blending of cultures with the class, which was taught in English, the language most of us had in common (except one participant, who speaks Estonian and Russian, but not English, and so needed translation). We in the class were different enough that we had to work together to make it happen, but it did and we had a blast.

That to me was a great example of worship is all about in the context of the Church (big "C"). When we go to a church for worship, we bring who we are with us, and that blends with those around us to become an expression of praise to God. Worship in the congregational setting works when we make allowances for our differences and join together through the things we have in common. The concept of worship has been rather controversial in the Church lately, mostly because of the introduction of contemporary music alongside (or at times in place of) hymns. When people talk about how they like or don't like the worship in their church, they usually mean the music. But this workshop, although it was centered on music, demonstrated that worship is about the hearts of the people who are joining together. If the focus is on God, worship will take place because it is about our relationship with Him, both individually and corporately.

Now what, you may ask, was I doing in a bass guitar clinic. Well, some of you may know that I have toyed with that instrument off and on for the last 25 years, but I never was taught how to play it or read music, I always play by ear. But since we hope to have a worship music band in our new corps, it seemed appropriate that I give this a shot. I was intimidated because I have no musical background, but Evelyn encouraged me to try it anyway, and I'm glad I did. Although the key lesson I learned was something I already knew (to play well, I need to practice a lot and learn which fret is which note), it was fun to play the bass again (I brought mine with me from the States, although I don't have an amp) and to see how a real musician can make it sound.

Chris was part of the drum workshop. He took drum lessons at the Chester Corps and was working on drumming on his own before we came here, but hadn't done anything with it since we came here. He told me that he tried to do the things he had done easily before, but kept having problems. Like me, he needs practice. But he enjoyed being with what we were told is one of the best drummers in Estonia, and he is already thinking about how he can get a drum set so he can play at the corps.

Chris and I both offered what we had, which didn't feel like much because we were so out of practice. We do that in worship, too: offering God what we have, but He always accepts what we have to offer. He accepts the sour notes from my bass as well as the sour notes in my life, as long as I give it to Him. That is why He is deserving of worship.
--Tim

I don't want to kiss you goodnight
I'll just keep on holding you tight
'Cause, baby, I know
You'll change and you'll grow
You'll get bigger with each morning light

I know that the sky's full of stars
And dreams call your name from afar
I'm anxious to see
All you're gonna be
But I'm sure gonna miss who you are

But I'll keep you right here in my heart
And I'll memorize each little part
'Cause one day you'll grow
And I'll miss you so
But I'll keep you right here in my heart

Each tooth that you gain or you lose
And each time you need bigger shoes
Each step that you take
Will be further away
But to stop you is not what I choose

These fingers that curl 'round my hand
Must do things that no others can
I know you're not mine
But God's own design
And I want you to follow His plan

But I'll keep you right here in my heart
And I'll memorize each little part
'Cause one day you'll grow
And I'll miss you so
But I'll keep you right here in my heart

'Cause one day you'll go
And I'll miss you so
But I'll keep you right here in my heart

Songs from the Beginner's Bible

The following is all written by Rick Steves:

People care about the world beyond our borders in different ways and for different reasons. My passion for both our planet and the people who call it home is stoked by both my travels and my Christian faith. (I bring up my faith only because so many conservatives claim that God’s in their camp.) We are approaching the election of our lifetime, and as caring citizens, we all need to share ideas and concerns so we get it as right as possible on November 2....
Why don’t I just shut up and write my guidebooks? (As many people tell me — in ALL CAPS.) Three decades of people-filled travel and my personal faith have given me a passion for what I consider “the sanctity of life.” While Conservatives claim to champion this issue, sanctity of life is about more than one issue....
***********************************
Travel can help mend a fractured world
By Rick Steves
For many Americans, the critical question in this election season is, "How can we make America safer in the world?"
Call me a girly man, but I think — given the fact that Americans are outnumbered 20 to 1 on this planet — we'd be safer by better understanding our world. A great first step is to travel — thoughtfully....
If Americans traveled more, we'd better understand our place on this complex planet and fit in more comfortably. And eventually, perhaps, we wouldn't need to spend as much as the rest of the world combined on our military to feel safe....
Though many Americans travel, millions more don't venture out to see or experience the world. About 80% of Americans do not hold a passport. Many of those have stubbornly held worldviews based on little more than TV news. Travel gives us a firsthand look at the complexity and struggles of the rest of the world, enabling us to digest news coverage more smartly.
Travel helps us celebrate — rather than fear — diversity....
Travel helps us appreciate the challenges other societies face....
Travel shows us that Americans are the haves in a have-not world. With fewer than 5% of the planet's population, we control 50% of its wealth. We are the global fat cats. In contrast, nearly half of this world's people live on $2 a day.
A traveler who has looked into the eyes of a desperate mother — baby in her arms too weak to flinch at the flies on his face — can better understand how that statistic translates into human suffering.
Travel combats ethnocentrism. I was raised thinking the world is a pyramid with the USA on top and everyone else trying to get there. But as I traveled, I met intelligent people — living in countries nowhere near as rich, free or full of opportunity as America — who wouldn't trade passports with me. They are thankful to be Nepalese, Bulgarian, Turkish or Nicaraguan.
Such cultural snapshots — the essential joy of travel — have made me both thankful to be an American and an enthusiastic citizen of the planet.
Travel gives us a perspective that can translate, through the voting booth, into American policies that will not alienate us from the family of nations. And when that happens, we'll all be truly stronger, safe and better off.
Rick Steves spends four months a year in Europe, writing guidebooks, leading tours and producing a public television series.

We had a very good day today! We've been feeling like we've needed a good day because there have been so many challenges lately, so this was really a gift from God.

Evelyn and I met with the new mayor of Tartu, Laine Jänes. She had never heard of The Salvation Army before, so we had the opportunity to introduce the work and mission of the Army to her. She was very open and receptive, and willingly spoke about some of the social problems in the city and how they would would be glad to have us work in the city. In a way, I think she was glad to have someone in her office saying, "What can we do for you?" I had the impression that she thought we were business people who were looking to invest in the city but looking for something in return. Her overall enthusiasm seemed to be almost a sense of relief. She is arranging a meeting for us with the city's director of social services and director of childrens' services to help us get a better sense of where the needs are, which I think will further open doors for us.

She has only been mayor for a month, since the former mayor was appointed to a cabinet post in the national government. I feel like it will be good for us as we begin our work here to get to know her, and hopefully partner with her, as she begins hers. Please pray that we will be open to the opportunities that may arise from this meeting; I think it has the potential to be a good foundation for our work here. We are so thankful to God for this positive experience, and can't wait to see what comes of it.

I also ask that you continue to pray for Mario. He has been struggling lately, trying to find for himself what it means to be a cadet and, ultimately, an officer. He is a good guy who just needs some guidance right now. Please pray that God will help him to have a clear sense of his calling, that he will be open to God's plans for his life, and that we will be able to help him in this. We have been so glad to have him here and believe he can be an important part of building the work here in Tartu.
--Tim

We need to rethink some of our strategies
says Captain Stephen Poxon

IN his book Sowing Dragons Captain Geoff Ryan argues that on the day of judgment he will stand before the Lord not just as Geoff Ryan the person but also as Geoff Ryan the Salvation Army officer. There is not, of course, any reference to the actual clothes he might be wearing come judgment day, for I suspect that if Revelation 7:14 is anything to go by white robes will figure much more prominently than blue serge. Ryan’s word-picture deals with the aspect of judgment that is to do with the part of his Christianity known as Salvationism....
For some reason we appear to be under a kind of subtle pressure not actually to be very interested in Salvationism any more....
We have everything to gain by continuing to be practitioners of Salvationism, and everything to lose by diluting the distinctives of Salvationism almost beyond recognition. For whose benefit? Whatever became of shoulders-back, heads-held-high, unapologetic Salvationism?
The Salvation Army has great potential to remain outstanding as a brilliant and envied form of Christianity; potential that quickly would be sacrificed at the altar of conformity. Uniformed Salvationists, for example, can be spotted a mile off. Salvation Army bands can be heard at the same distance. What a sad and irretrievable day it would be if a colourful Army invented by a colourful God voted to surrender its individuality in the name, not of healthy ecumenism or the overdue recognition of outdated, silly sentimentalism, but of a lost spirit and a misguided practice....
We need conviction about what actually constitutes Salvationism in 2004. This needs to become an ongoing debate. Just as a diamond is multifaceted, so too the gem of Salvationism has a number of sides, all equally worthy of tough scrutiny. The side, for example, that is our uniform-wearing. The side that is our music-making.... It is a debate that will require honesty, humility, courage and diplomacy if The Salvation Army is to grapple with its sacred cows and then move with Christ into the future.
Such debate about the distinctives of Salvationism is crucial to our present wellbeing and to our strategy for the future. Any ignorance of our distinctives now will inevitably drain us of our God-given lifeblood. How can we know who we are if we have no idea who we have been? Without clear distinctives of Salvationism we risk losing wholesale respect and recognition in the eyes of the general public. We risk forfeiting God’s particular blessings. We will have little or no social or political impact any more. We will cease to function financially. And we will have slighted the memory of those on whose shoulders we stand. The clarification of Army distinctives can serve as a catalyst by which Salvationism is re-energised and freshly defined.
I don’t understand why we sometimes give the impression of being vaguely embarrassed about being The Salvation Army. Either we have no real idea of the esteem in which the Army is held or we have at some point taken a secret decision to disarm and regroup as a new denomination known as The Church of Nothing in Particular....
Might it actually be the case that if we stood up in front of the world and said clearly what our expectations, terms and conditions are, we might find ourselves as the recipients of a great deal more respect? Criticism and ridicule too, no doubt, but that doesn’t matter....

from Salvationist 23 October 2004 (written by Captain Poxon, not Captain Clark!)

I'm typing tonight with a feeling of satisfied exhaustion. I did another of those "manly" things I never did in the States, but which is better than going to the gym. I stacked wood!

The former tenants of the house had left enough wood to last three to four weeks, so I knew we needed more but was clueless on how to get it. I called one of the Americans who have been here for quite a few years to get his suggestion, and he said, "I'll come over tomorrow and we'll set you up." It sounded like a drug deal or something! In the end, it kind of felt like one too. We drove over to a big parking lot by the bussijaam (bus station) where there were around eight trucks of various sizes parked, and each was loaded with wood. Milling about chatting together were the drivers, and when we pulled up they gave us their full attention. My friend Linden, who seems to know everyone in Estonia, spotted a guy he knew, and spoke to him about his load of wood. I could see for myself that this wood looked pretty fresh, like it had been cut recently, and wouldn't be good for burning for several months, at least. We then strolled from truck to truck like farmers examining new livestock and asking each guy, "Kui palju" (how much?). One load of wood looked really good to me: dry, neatly cut and split, the right size for our furnace. But Linden told me it was aspen, which looks nice to burn, but has no real heating value. It's good to know people who know that kind of stuff!

None of the wood was that great, mostly because people here buy their winter wood in the spring or summer so they can stack it and let it dry out well before winter comes. I was approaching them late in the game. But Linden spoke to one of the guys (who had the greenest wood there!) and found out that he had a load of dried ash at home that he was holding back for later in the season. He convinced our new friend to sell it to me now, even got me a good price on it, and arranged for the delivery a few days later. Not bad!

The wood arrived when I was in Finland, so when I got home, I had 10 cubic meters of wood dumped in my backyard waiting to be stacked in the wood shed. It took a few days to get around to it, but I decided that today, no matter what, I was going to get that wood done. In the late afternoon, Chris, Elizabeth and I headed out to tackle the wood pile. Chris and I hauled the big pieces into the shed and stacked them while Elizabeth collected the smaller pieces for kindling and made a separate pile. We stacked and filled the whole right side of the shed as high as my head, then we did the same on the left side (except that part of the space was taken by the birch left by the previous occupants). We had to do a second row in front of the first on that side, but we still had more wood! It seemed like for as much as we stacked, the wood pile didn't go down. We started stacking from the back of the shed toward the front, and by the time we began our third row, we finally finished. It took four hours, but the yard is completely empty of wood and as I type, I can hear the rain outside that I was trying to beat (remember, I want dry wood), which is supposed to continue for the next two days.

So much of our work here is beginning things, learning things, building relationships and figuring things out that it seems like we rarely bring things to a tangible conclusion. I think that's why it felt so good to get that wood stacked: I could see the task, measure it up, and then bring it to completion. I needed that sense of satisfaction.

Of course, as the weather gets colder, I will have to haul that wood again, but this time it will be only a few pieces at a time to throw into the fire. I think I can handle that.
--Tim

How can someone in The Salvation ARMY be a peacenik? Here's how:

"Though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:11-12)

Kapten Evelyn Clark

from Sojourners:

Our world is wracked with violence and war. But Jesus said: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God" (Matt. 5:9). Innocent people, at home and abroad, are increasingly threatened by terrorist attacks. But Jesus said: "Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44). These words, which have never been easy, seem all the more difficult today.
Nevertheless, a time comes when silence is betrayal. How many churches have heard sermons on these texts since the terrorist atrocities of September 11? Where is the serious debate about what it means to confess Christ in a world of violence? Does Christian "realism" mean resigning ourselves to an endless future of "pre-emptive wars"? Does it mean turning a blind eye to torture and massive civilian casualties? Does it mean acting out of fear and resentment rather than intelligence and restraint?
Faithfully confessing Christ is the church's task, and never more so than when its confession is co-opted by militarism and nationalism.
- A "theology of war," emanating from the highest circles of American government, is seeping into our churches as well.
- The language of "righteous empire" is employed with growing frequency.
- The roles of God, church, and nation are confused by talk of an American "mission" and "divine appointment" to "rid the world of evil."
The security issues before our nation allow no easy solutions. No one has a monopoly on the truth. But a policy that rejects the wisdom of international consultation should not be baptized by religiosity. The danger today is political idolatry exacerbated by the politics of fear.
In this time of crisis, we need a new confession of Christ.
1. Jesus Christ, as attested in Holy Scripture, knows no national boundaries. Those who confess his name are found throughout the earth. Our allegiance to Christ takes priority over national identity. Whenever Christianity compromises with empire, the gospel of Christ is discredited.
We reject the false teaching that any nation-state can ever be described with the words, "the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." These words, used in scripture, apply only to Christ. No political or religious leader has the right to twist them in the service of war.
2. Christ commits Christians to a strong presumption against war. The wanton destructiveness of modern warfare strengthens this obligation. Standing in the shadow of the Cross, Christians have a responsibility to count the cost, speak out for the victims, and explore every alternative before a nation goes to war. We are committed to international cooperation rather than unilateral policies.
We reject the false teaching that a war on terrorism takes precedence over ethical and legal norms. Some things ought never be done - torture, the deliberate bombing of civilians, the use of indiscriminate weapons of mass destruction - regardless of the consequences.
3. Christ commands us to see not only the splinter in our adversary's eye, but also the beam in our own. The distinction between good and evil does not run between one nation and another, or one group and another. It runs straight through every human heart.
We reject the false teaching that America is a "Christian nation," representing only virtue, while its adversaries are nothing but vicious. We reject the belief that America has nothing to repent of, even as we reject that it represents most of the world's evil. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23).
4. Christ shows us that enemy-love is the heart of the gospel. While we were yet enemies, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8, 10). We are to show love to our enemies even as we believe God in Christ has shown love to us and the whole world. Enemy-love does not mean capitulating to hostile agendas or domination. It does mean refusing to demonize any human being created in God's image.
We reject the false teaching that any human being can be defined as outside the law's protection. We reject the demonization of perceived enemies, which only paves the way to abuse; and we reject the mistreatment of prisoners, regardless of supposed benefits to their captors.
5. Christ teaches us that humility is the virtue befitting forgiven sinners. It tempers all political disagreements, and it allows that our own political perceptions, in a complex world, may be wrong.
We reject the false teaching that those who are not for the United States politically are against it or that those who fundamentally question American policies must be with the "evil-doers." Such crude distinctions, especially when used by Christians, are expressions of the Manichaean heresy, in which the world is divided into forces of absolute good and absolute evil.
The Lord Jesus Christ is either authoritative for Christians, or he is not. His Lordship cannot be set aside by any earthly power. His words may not be distorted for propagandistic purposes. No nation-state may usurp the place of God.
We believe that acknowledging these truths is indispensable for followers of Christ. We urge them to remember these principles in making their decisions as citizens. Peacemaking is central to our vocation in a troubled world where Christ is Lord.

Now that I've got your attention.... ;-) No seriously, I keep thinking about something that happened the other night when I was so sick, but it's kinda gross. My "sister" Janice came over to watch the kids and help me while I waited for Tim to get back from Finland. And she actually held a bowl in front of my face while I puked! No one besides my own mother has ever done this! I've never even thrown up in front of Tim, in over 15 years of marriage! Even when I had terrible "morning" sickness when I was pregnant with Peter! And Janice said, "now we are really sisters!"

So these verses have been haunting me lately, and it's really my prayer for our time in Tartu. But I guess I always pictured US as being the ones doing the loving, not receiving it!

He now showed them the full extent of his love.... He got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.... When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me `Teacher' and `Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.... Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them....
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

We need e-mail addresses! The worst part about having our compter stolen was that we lost everything stored on the compuer, including e-mail addresses! If you have not e-mailed us since October 9, then we do not have your e-mail address!! So please send us yours, family members, etc.!

Speaking of e-mail, we got this really awesome one from someone I worked at Camp Sebago with a hundred years ago (or so it seems!):


Hi there...Just wanted to share with you a prayer offered up for you by one of our Prayer Partners in the NNE Division.God bless you and yours.
Let His light and truth be your guide today
*************************
Luke 14:23And the lord said unto the servant, 'Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.'

Subject
Re: URGENT Prayer Request
PRAYING THE BLOOD OF JESUS UPON CAPTAIN TIMOTHY & EVELYN CLARK AND FAMILY FOR PHYSICAL PROTECTION...THE ANGEL OF THE LORD ENCAMPS AROUND THEM...FOR JESUS THE PRINCE OF PEACE TO TO FILL THEM THROUGH AND THROUGH...FOR THE LION OF THE TRIBE OF JUDAH TO STAND UP AGAINST ALL OF THEIR FOES, AND, TURN THEM INTO SEEKERS AFTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD. WILL TAKE THIS REQUEST TO OUR WOMEN'S MINISTRY AT COLUMBUS CITADEL TONIGHT. I COVER OUR MISSIONARIES WITH ZEPHANIAH 3:17. BLESSINGS


ZEP 3:17 The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

Three and a half weeks ago, Tim was so sick that I almost took him to the hospital, afraid he might have appendicitis! I was really scared, calling missionaries here in Tartu (the daughter of one is going to nursing school here), our Regional Commanders, corps officers in Narva, etc.!

He was in a lot of pain and really sick for about a week, and then he recovered. So we figured it was some kind of nasty flu that must be going around. Captain Henderson told us that their family all got really sick their first winter in Narva.

Yesterday, Tim went to Helsinki for a meeting with the Regional Commanders, Training Principals, and Chief Secretary about our cadet. He took a bus that left Tartu at 6 in the morning, and wasn't expected back until 1:30 in the middle of the night.

Some time after 10:00 (when his ferry left Helsinki), I started feeling so sick and having pain in my left side. If Tim had not already gone through this before me, I would have been terrified. I ended up calling one of our friends, Janice Viinalass, to come over about midnight, to be with the kids until Tim got back. Thank God I did! She took such good care of me!

We went to bed around 3 a.m. and I was starting to feel a lot better by then. I slept till about noon, and while I'm still not feeling great, the worst seems to be over.

It's starting to feel like we're just going from one problem to the next. Just as we get our heads above water, another wave comes crashing over us.

So please pray for us, and ask everyone you can think of to do the same! Thanks, friends!

Evelyn

I came across some e-mails I sent to my sister a few days after we arrived here. Interesting to look back at where we were at three and a half months ago....

9 July 2004

It's going fine. Chris and Elizabeth slept all through the night, but Peter sure didn't!One of our missionary friends came yesterday when the Tallinn gang was still with us. She came again this afternoon with her husband and toddler, and brought soup and salad and some kitchen stuff we will need until our shipment comes. Our landlady came this morning with her grown son and brought some eggs.I feel like a complete moron when I can't even talk to my neighbors, but a little bit of humility is good for me and it sure is big incentive to learn the language!!

The new Regional Commanders (there's been an upgrade from the Regional Officer designation) are really wonderful people. She called this afternoon to check on us.We are still very much in survival mode, figuring out where to buy things and how to use the washing machine (Tim says it's just like yours in Moldova) and things like that.

Chris is having a bit of a hard time. I'm not sure what he was expecting, but he thinks the outside of our building and the hallway and the neighborhood don't look nice. I think he is out of his mind, because it is all totally awesome! We are completely spoiled!! The apt. is like two or three times bigger than I had pictured it, really a very nice size for our family.I'm not sure what else to tell you. We're well and happy.


10 July 2004

We have met 3 neighbors in our building so far, and they are all old ladies! Home League was one of the things I really hated the most in Chester, but after seeing these old ladies I wonder if it will be one of the first things we start here.We are still very much in survival mode (sleeping, eating, bathing) and haven't had a chance to really explore the city yet, just intown.We saw an old woman last night drinking beer from a bottle. Dressed like a babushka. Really broke our hearts.We had a nice meal at a restaurant here last night -- Chris really wanted to do something to celebrate.

We're fine with the washing machine. There is an instruction book that includes English. It's just that whatever we do, we have to stop and think about it, instead of doing it automatically.Chris was saying on the walk here just now how much he really likes Tartu. Hopefully we will be able to go to church tomorrow and meet some kids his age.Our sleep is all messed up really bad. Peter was crying and SCREAMING in the middle of the night last night. I don't know if it's his teething bothering him or what.

I put up some Estonian SA red shields in our windows and on our front door this afternoon. Can't wait till we can get business cards and everything.

Here's something I was planning to write about on Monday, the night we got back home from our weekend away. It was overshadowed by the break in, but I'm still thinking about the first snow we had since we arrived in Estonia.

On Saturday of last week, we went to the Tallinn Kopli Corps picnic and on the way, drove through just about every kind of weather imaginable, including sleet. The only thing we didn't see was snow, but then Mario said he had heard on the radio that snow might come in the evening.

We spent the night at the Army's camp in Loksa, and when we woke up in the morning sure enough there were a few flakes in the air. I thought, "What a nice way to ease into winter, with a few light flurries." We left a short time later to head to Narva, where we were doing the meetings at the corps. As we traveled along the road, the snow got heavier. It was big, wet flakes--the kind that is perfect for making snowballs. It was clinging to the trees and sticking to the ground, making the woods and fields we passed through look like postcards. But the snow was also sticking to the ground and as I drove along I occasionally felt the wheels slip, which caused me to go far slower than the 100 km/h speed limit. At one stretch where there were several inches on the ground and a good coating of slush on the road, I felt the van gently sliding to one side and had to brake carefully and steadily steer back toward the center of the road. Shortly after that, we saw quite a few cars that had gone off the road. I was so thankful that I wasn't one of them! We stopped to see if we could help one of the cars that had skidded into a little ravine about 10 feet lower than the road surface. You could see mud all around the car where he had tried unsuccessfully to rock himself out. He asked if we had a rope, and since we didn't, told us he had a friend coming to help and he would be fine. Estonians seem to take going off the road in stride, like it is just a part of life. As Mario and I stood there talking to him in full uniform, a big semi truck roared by, splashing us with at cascade of slush which soaked our backs!

Once we were back in the van, as I tried to keep steady and not have the van slip again while I drove, Mario said, "You know, it is almost the time that you are supposed to have snow tires on the van or else you get a ticket." I'm so glad he said that; I don't feel like skidding around all winter--and I'm not so sure I would take going off the road in stride! But I never would have known if he hadn't told me.

The most incredible thing was after driving in this tricky weather for around 40 miles, within a mile or two the snow got lighter, and then there was nothing. The roads and ground were all clear and we saw no more snow the rest of the way to Narva! I think winter here will be full of surprises.

I know: I can gush about the fun of the first snow now, but what will I sound like in mid-February when I've had nothing but snow and sub-freezing temperatures for months? We'll see, but it is fun to enjoy it while it is a novelty.
--Tim

MT 6:19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, ... where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, ... where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

LK 12:32 "Do not be afraid, ... for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near.... 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

JN 10:1 "I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter ... by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.

JN 10:7 Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate.... 8 All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers.... 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out.... 10 The thief comes only to steal ... and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Today while Evelyn and the kids were at the homeschooling co-op, I finally took care of something that has been bugging me since our house was broken into.

When the police were looking for evidence, they dusted many areas for fingerprints. They used a black powder that looks like copier toner, and it was smeared on several areas that we walk by every day: the drawer to the computer desk, some speakers for the computer, and even my Estonian textbook, "E Nagu Eesti." Every time I would see that blackness, it served as a jarring reminder of what happened, even more than the empty computer desk or the blank space in the basement where the kids' video game systems used to be. So today I finally wiped away the blackness and got rid of the glaring reminder of what happened.

Of course, it is not so easy to wipe away the feelings we have. I definitely lost the least, since what was taken had far more sentimental and practical value for Evelyn and the kids. But we all have had this feeling of blackness in one way or another, although it is starting to diminish slightly. Someone entering your home uninvited, even when you are not there, feels like such a violation. And for all the material things they stole, probably the most significant thing they stole from us was our sense of peace, at least for the short term. Now we think twice before we leave the house, and wonder what we will do the next time we have to go away for a few days. We will figure it out, I'm sure, but it is the blackness that is not easily wiped away.

But we also have hope through it all. We know this could have happened in America just as easily, so it is not like this is a risk of being in Estonia. And we feel surrounded by Estonians who have been a real comfort and help to us. When we arrived home and discovered the break in, the local Baptist pastor, who has become our friend, came to help translate with the police for us. Before he left, he prayed a wonderful prayer of comfort with us, and even prayed for the salvation of those who had broken in. In speaking with another Estonian friend the next day (she came to the police station to help translate for the written report), she said that she and her boyfriend had also prayed for the thieves. Later, still another person told us the same thing. It reminded us that it is for people like the ones who broke into the house (and the ones who did!) that we are here. They need the hope of the gospel to wipe away the blackness in their lives. How can we be discouraged when we think of that?

Although there will always probably be a quiet ache from what happened, we know that God has greater plans, and we trust Him for that. There is no blackness He can't wipe away.
--Tim

from http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/ea/AutobiographicalEssay.htm

He could make friends only with his uncle who had a living, joyful, and courageous Christianity, which the boy had never met before, and a love to Jesus and to the poor. Once when his uncle invited a man from the much despised Salvation Army to table and spoke with him as to a brother, listening with open-hearted admiration to the report of his salvation work, the uncle won the heart of the boy completely….

The servant girls and the charwoman understood him best of all. He felt drawn more and more to the poor. He would have preferred to have put on the Salvation Army uniform so as to show outwardly too his turning away from the rich to the poorest society. It was his deepest concern to bring the joyful news of God's true freedom to the poor….

One was the social urge toward the poorest of the city, which often led Eberhard to the Salvation Army and to the slums….

There was more in the Salvation Army. For there a deep social understanding for the outer and especially the inner need of the oppressed classes was added to the Methodist way of preaching conversion and salvation. The answer he once got from a certain Captain Twesten, who was hoarse from much speaking, made an unforgettable impression on him. Eberhard had made an involuntary remark as he saw a man who obviously had come down in the world, "What an awful face!" The Salvation Army officer said sharply, "What are you saying? What do you think you would look like if you had had to suffer what this unhappy wretch has had to suffer?"

We are okay, and I need to start by saying this! I'll say it again -- we are all okay! Really!

But we came home last night to find that our house had been burglarized. They forced open a downstairs window and went through the entire house. Mostly they took electronic items (computer equipment, video games, etc.).

We are fortunate in that the immediate difficulty was in deciding who to call first! (Well, FIRST we called our Regional Commander, Major Tyrrell, of course!) What I mean is, we have a very good support network here in Tartu! We ended up having Leho Paldre, pastor of Kolgata Baptist Church, come and help us talk to the police (after having some missionary friends call for us, as our untranslated attempt just did not communicate).

We had come home after 9 at night very tired from a very long weekend with lots of driving. We first went to the Tallinn Kopli Corps picnic. Then to Camp Loksa to spend the night. Then to the Narva Corps, where I preached. Then to a meeting at Regional Headquarters in Tallinn.

Part of my scripture in Narva was:
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:4,6-7)

My theme was Prayer (Requests) + Thanksgiving (Rejoicing) = PEACE!

In my better moments, I can joke that we were wondering how to get sinners into the Tartu Corps, and now THEY HAVE COME! ;-)

And I do get a bit of a chuckle imagining that we must have been doing something to step on the devil's tail, so he had to give a big YELP!

I feel like we have been initiated into some kind of missionary club. Now we know how it feels to go through this experience.

So maybe we'll get a dog. Or find someone to stay here while we are away (which is often). Maybe we'll have to put an alarm in.

We are grateful for a lot of things. We had our passports with us. Many of the things which are most precious to us are things no one would want to steal: Elizabeth's sticker book, my books, etc.

There are expensive things that they didn't take: our down comforters (which we were quite grateful for since the house had been open and was FREEZING cold), Chris's bike, our video camera.

So, friends, please pray for us. E-mail us. But do NOT worry about us!

Evelyn

Because Estonia is such a small country, most people know very little about it. Ever since we first knew we would be comming here, we've had people ask some interesting questions because they had no clue about this country that some people even thought was made up. So here's a quiz. Follow this link, put your pointer on each of the numbers to see the question, then click on the number to learn some fun facts about Estonia. Then you can proudly tell your friends what a "mulk" is and why Estonia is a singing nation. Enjoy!!
--Tim

Today is my sister Katherine's 33rd birthday. I can't believe we are all getting so old! She will always be my little baby sister, though!

Katherine has her hands full with three beautiful daughters age 7 and under.

She is a Nurse's Aid, and we always knew she would go into a caring profession. When we were sick, she was always the one to wait on us and take care of us.

She has worked on the cancer floor of Maine Medical Center, taking care of people in what often was their last hours alive. She has worked private duty, becoming a friend and companion as well as nurse.

Katherine has a tender heart. I remember her crying at almost every episode of "Little House on the Prairie" on TV!

Katherine has a cool middle name. She is named after my mother's mother, Arline Booker Groff Reny (a member of the Torchbearers session!).

Like all the girls in my family, she always goes by her full name (Katherine, not Kathy!).

Tomorrow we have guests from Tallinn (Major Derek Tyrrell and Colonel George Church) coming, so I need to get off the computer and ready for their visit!

Please visit, call, or e-mail Katherine and tell wish her a very happy birthday! If you don't know Katherine, then give some love to the youngest person in your family (no matter how old they may be now!).

Evelyn

In exactly three years, three months, and three days (9 January 2008), our son Chris will turn 18 and we will kick him out of the house.

Will he be ready? Will he really be an adult? What should we be doing (and how should we be ... being) during this short time to prepare him?

I have all kinds of parenting books, including many about raising teenagers. And we are also grateful to have good models, including local ones in the Harrison family, of how we would want him to turn out.

But in the end, it is completely out of our hands. It will be up to him to make the choices that will either give him a good life or not, lead him to honor God or not, make us proud or embarrass us.

Decisions about how much his allowance should be, what his chores should be, how much time he should spend on the computer every day ("do as I say, not as I do!"), and a million other things, some little and some important, are the building blocks that will help create the man he will become.

It is very interesting and somewhat unique to have 7-month-old baby Peter, who is learning how to eat solid food (bananas and mashed potatoes) and to crawl, and also 14-year-old Chris. Having Peter has allowed Chris a glimpse of how very much he is loved, because I tell him and over and over that his feelings for Peter are a reflection of our feelings for him. ("You know how you feel when Peter is crying? That's how we feel when you're upset!")

It is a thrill to see how excited Chris gets about playing patty-cake with Peter. It is a bit scary to imagine him with his own baby in perhaps another 14 years!

Please pray for Chris as God brings him to mind. Pray that he will get all his homeschooling work done! Pray that he will be safe as he is out riding his bike. Pray that he will find more friends here, especially English-speaking teenage boys who live in Tartu! Pray that he will make good decisions about girlfriends. Pray that we will show him respect while also maintaining authority when necessary. Pray that his friends in America will be an encouragement to him and not a reminder of what he is missing by not being there.

Three years, three months, and three days ago (3 July 2001) was the day before we took up our first appointment. We were staying at the Training School on furlough, and packing for the move from New York to Pennsylvania. We remember this day well! In some ways, it seems that a lifetime has passed since then (being officers has aged us considerably, I'm afraid!). In other ways, it seems like just yesterday.

We know this time with Chris will go by quickly. That knowledge is one of the benefits of being parents for so long. I hope we will cherish and enjoy it and use it well!

Evelyn (a.k.a. Mama!)

When Colonel Lydholm, our TC, came to visit us, he said that when we unpacked our books it would be like seeing old friends. Some of our things have been packed away for four months! Today we got a lot of books out of boxes and onto bookshelves. It was NOT like seeing old friends; it was like seeing a very close family member! I almost felt like crying as I saw some of my favorite books again.

On the other hand, it has been funny throughout this whole unpacking process to see what comes out of a box sometimes! Everything we brought to Estonia had to be packed by movers for insurance purposes (we packed our own stuff for storage). Sometimes this is just mildly inconvenient, as when all my pregnancy/childbirth/breastfeeding/parenting books are mixed in with Chris's books, and we keep carrying boxes to the wrong rooms. Sometimes it's really odd, like today when there was a Lucy (as in Charlie Brown from "Peanuts") Christmas ornament mixed in with a box of (mostly) Salvation Army books. How did that get in there?

On my favorite e-mail list, the question was recently asked: "If you were stranded on a desert island, which ... book would you want to take (or top five, perhaps)?" Before I give my answer, I'd like to hear what your thoughts are, faithful blog readers! Please e-mail me at evelynclark@juno.com or reply in the Comments section.

Thanks!
Evelyn

Last Tuesday I began my second course in Estonian. This one is web based and each week I am given a series of assignments to complete, some of which are posted in a forum for others in the class to read and comment on. It is already challenging me, but also helping me to remember what I learned in my first class. Hopefully, by the time this ends in December, I will feel much more comfortable with everyday Estonian.

So what do you know about Estonian and Estonia? Here's an article that gives you a brief background on Eesti keelt. And go here if you want to have fun finding Estonian for words you know. You can also learn about Estonian folk culture by poking around the Estonian National Museum web page (click the "continue" button, then check all of the different links on the left sidebar to discover more than you ever thought you could learn). Hope you enjoy your virtual visit to Estonia as much as we love it here!
--Tim

"Love still takes the risk of birth." -- Madeleine L'Engle

Today we went to Salem church, which we walk to because it's just down the street from our house. It's the church where most of the American missionaries (our friends!) attend, and so we try to go as often as we can, when we're not out of town in Tallinn or Narva, or visiting other churches in Tartu.

This morning there was a baby dedication. With my limited Estonian and comparatively extensive Bible knowledge, I could make out that the pastor was quoting Jesus: "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14; Mark 10:14; Luke 18:16)

The General of The Salvation Army has declared 2005 a Year for Children and Youth. For fifteen and a half years, this has been my focus! We are anxoius to see how God will extend that focus beyond our three biological children.

Later in the meeting, his sermon was based on more words of Jesus: "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem ..., how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" (Matthew 23:37; Luke 13:34)

This was something I thought of often when we were in in our last appointment, the third poorest city in America: "O Chester, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!"

We are taking such a risk being here in Tartu. Not physically, or financially!! But emotionally and mentally and even spiritually. It is risky to make new friends, and hard work. Today, we met an American family (not missionaries!) who moved here a few weeks after we did. Spending time with them reminded us once again of how much we miss our friends in America, where we know the rules of interaction. Every relationship has its own set of rules, and we are still navigating them here.

Love still takes the risk.

Evelyn

I reached another milestone in daily life here: I got our heat going! Now that may not sound like a big deal to you, except that we are heating with a wood furnace, which I have not experience in using.

The way it works is actually quite clever: by the entry way on the first floor of the house is a small fireplace-like opening that is surrounded by brick and tile. You light a fire in this and allow it to burn down to hot coals, then you shut the fireplace door and close the flue and the hot air will circulate through channels in the brick and tile, heating the tiles and radiating the heat for up to 24 hours. That means, if we get good heat going from the furnace, I only have to deal with a fire once a day for around two hours, not bad.

Of course, first I had to figure the whole thing out. Fortunately, one of the Americans who live here, Kevin, offered to come over this morning and give me a quick primer on how to do it. All of my Boy Scout fire-building training flooded back to me as we laid down a good bed of paper, then some smaller wood, and finally the larger pieces of birch (a good hot-burning wood). He got the fire going easily; because it is so well drafted, it literally took only one match to get it going. We used a smaller amount of wood and after about an hour and a half, it had burned down to nicely glowing coals and Kevin simply closed the door and the flue and let it heat.

While we waited for the fire to burn down, Kevin and I were able to talk quite a bit and get to know each other better. He was interested in what the Army will be doing here, and he was able to tell me about his work here, which is to build the vision for church planting and resource people to fulfill that vision. It is amazing to see what he is involved in, and it is so completely compatible with what we plan to do here. It was definitely another one of those relationship-building times that God keeps sending our way, and I think we will see great good from it both in our work as well as personally.

Because the fire was rather small, it cooled in just a few hours, so I decided to make another attempt solo. I built up the paper and tinder and packed it full of wood and after one false start, got a roaring fire going. Elizabeth sat there just staring at the flames and listening to the wood hissing. It was very cool. I had a great pile of coals before I shut it up, and once I did felt a lot of heat coming from the tiles. Now it is nine hours later and it is still radiating heat almost as strongly as when I first started. Somewhere deep inside, that satisfies some primal hunter-gatherer need.

We have another fireplace in the basement that we will also use for heat (different design), but that was enough for one day. We have the warmth we need for tonight.
--Tim

I just got back from the bussijamm (bus station). Chris got a call from his friend Josh inviting him to sleep over and then spend the day playing the board game Risk. He was excited to go, but since the family lives in Elva, a small town around 35 km south of here, taking the bus was the easiest option, and Chris was willing to do it. When we got there, the ticket office had just closed, which meant he would have to buy the ticket from the driver, but he was fine with that. So we waited for the bus to arrive, but it never did!! He called his friend who said, "Sometimes the driver gets sick and a bus will just not come. But there is another one at 10:10." That was about a half hour, so we decided to wait. This bus did arrive and Chris dutifully got in line and when it was his turn I saw him (I was standing outside the bus) talking to the driver, eventually get a ticket and then finding a seat. He is getting very independent! He is really trying to learn how to do things here, and I was so proud to see him do it.

He is still adjusting to life in Estonia, though, and we were glad when he was invited to Josh's. He is the oldest son of American missionaries here, and I could see he and Chris being good friends. That is what Chris really needs right now, to feel like he has his own circle of friends.

Earlier in the day, we also went on a trip to southern Estonia with the Friday homeschool group. We visited some incredible sand caves, then went to the ruins of a 13th century Episcopal castle from the Livonian era of Estonia. (see below)

At the sand caves. Mario is standing between me and Chris.

One of the best things about the trip was that Mario came with us, and he and I were able to chat quite a bit. I learned a lot about him, like where he was born (the island of Hiiumaa), different jobs he has had, some of his interests. I think it helped to break down some of the hesitancy he has been feeling, and also gave him the chance to meet others who are working in ministry in Tartu.

I will put more pictures from today on our HP photo site, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.
--Tim